I’m in a deep learning with the Goddess about my need for self-continuity. For keeping myself contained in my-Self. And like most modern women, one of the main interruptors of that process of remaining self-contained; has been my relationships with men. On the surface, I could say that that is the man’s fault. The patriachy’s. And that isn’t false, but it isn’t the depth, either. It ain’t the root.

The truth is, I am rewiring deep grooves of memory that lead to outward movement too early, too fast, or where outward engagement shouldn’t exist at all.

I am moving away from the outward pull of thinking about “him.” Collectively, we need the same medicine.

Too many conversations femmes are having about the patriarchy or about the masculine serve the purpose of solving nothing. The hidden function of all the talking is to take us out of our bodies; our own centers to speculate about the centers of men, to feel and intuit the centers of men where we have often not been given permission to enter.

We have not been given permission. And we misread that we have because of intimacy, or because we sense that it could be “helpful”.

The truth is that there is nothing helpful about disrupting anyone else’s initiations. That means the hard times that are dominant now? That’s initiatory work.

The masculine has its own initiations the feminine is not privy to, and never will be.

It has been this way, and has always been this way.

And it would behoove us, the feminine, women, people in the femme-space-of-being, to stop trying to take part in ceremonies that we cannot occupy by design and divine directive.

We have our own deeper spaces to enter in ourselves:

not outside of us,

not located in anyone else,

not anywhere to be found but deeper in the well of our own Being.

Every time we “know what’s going on” with the masculine, this is a sign to go deeper inside of us.

Do you trust the sacred?

Deeper.